Friday, November 22, 2013

Ranting. As requested.

In the name of Allah,
The Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum. ..

Im goin to rant abt my feelings rite now. Act, not as requested. I choose to rant on my blog yg dh berhabuk ni as I.. am so sad. Tonite. Mixed feelings.

Sarjana, tak boleh nak delete Sarjana dari kepala ni. Tak boleh nak put aside even sekejap. Always, always, remember always wujudkan perasaan yang sayu dlm hati ni and membawa kekesalan. Aku rasa pun member member aku pun dh boring dgt ranting aku tak habis habis rindu Sarjana. Im sorry, but I cant help myself. Ive tried. sorry, I am trying but its hard. Well, Im not trying to delete Sarjana in my mind, but trying to except the presence.

Regret. Yep, I felt that way. or maybe I feel it now. But in the same time, Im starting to like Al-amin. Al-amin shows me many things. Yet, im still unhappy that Im no longer a Sarjanian. Or am I really unhappy? Im getting jealous when gen e buat anything tahun ni.. Im so... jealous. Cause I cant make memories with them. But I always keep this in my mind .. " I have this feeling, which others may not feel it in their life. I have this experience which others may not experience. Also, making memories with new people. "

Kalau akuhaving hard time dkt Al-amin and perlukan words to stand up and stand still aku mesti nak cari muka member yang always ada dgn aku waktu aku menangis dkt Sarjana dulu. Ila.. Asiah.. Anis.. Alya.. Atyn.. Fiza.. Farah.. Hanim.. Fiqanis.. Syaqis.. Farhanah.. Tiqaisa.. Even ada yang aku tak rapat, but they helped me in many ways. They heared my rants.. They listened what is inside my heart... I always hurt them.. always.. I know. Tambah lagi yang rapat dgn aku.. Member KAMI... haha lawak macamana boleh rapat. Even, aku ada kak Anis, kak Fadz, kak Fae yg support aku since aku form one... Kakak kakak kesayangan aku.. Dah setahun sehari aku tak dengar suara diorang, tengok muka diorang, salam diorang..  Serious, sebak type post ni.. Sebak. Sebak. Sebak. .. . . Hujan.....

Member aku dkt Sarjana pun used to be 'new people' sama mcm member Al-amin sekarang.. And what can I conclude is my actual problem is..

Missing Sarjana.

That's why memories are memories. To be keep. To be remembered. To make us smile in tears ( as for me ). Aku sangat bersyukur aku kenal gen e. Tak kira la lelaki ke perempuan, both, ada memories. Eventho ada yang annoying, I feel grateful, I am.

I also learned that.. Missing something, doesnt mean that we have to own that thing again. Aku cuba untuk sedapkan hati aku dgn ayat tu. Hurm..

Im sad. I miss sweet memories. Usha usha the one I admire. Now, no longer................. Tak tengok dah si dia pakai baju sekolah, baju bola, baju jumaat, outing, main bola, lari, makan dkt kantin dgn banyak Tu ni........ opss dah terlari..... Amboi. Ehem.

Pardon me.

Ape pun, Ill keep those memories tightly in my head, heart. Hold it tight. . . .. I miss them.
A lot.
Like seriously alot..

padan muka kau nina.

Mungkin ni post aku yang tak patut dibaca. Aku cuma nak menzahirkan perasaan ni.


Saturday, August 17, 2013



Mulakan membaca entri ini dengan senyuman, please eventho youre going tough (ceh suruh org senang yu bukan in their shoes pun) ehe. Well, Alhamdulillah, im in a good mood. Oh and yes, its already 10th Syawal. Is it too late to wish Happy Eid-ul Fitr to my lovely readers (if i have one)? hehe Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri tulus dari diriku.

Actually, i dont really sure what topic should i share with you guys tonite as i have zillions of em. Hmm macamana ni? Em lets talk about.. hari raya lah? Is that fine?

So this year hari raya i celebrate with my parents, chah (my second sis), ayih (my last eld bro), abang (my eldest bro) and his wife + two sons and my cats, tot and comel wihihi. So this year raya is just same as past years', we just have raya at ipoh. So everything went well blablablaa eat rendang lemang blablabla so nothing's really exciting actually just when there's a difference this year which is...

So last Tuesday, i went to two diff openhouses of my fellas. Hehe, i guess its very rare to see me at any openhouses, bukan tak nak attend, tapi ada hal or what not. So, the first house was Mar's. Alya, Diyan, Aishah (my sarjana-mates), and Farah and Izany (my sarjana-mates too but we have thing in common which is we get ex infront of sarjana lalala) were there too! I am kaget! Who doesnt? They came all the way from sungai buloh! What a whoa i didnt expect them to be there! So we ate blablablabla and we went to next house. Mar's mummy sent us there. There were a bit dup dap deep in our chest (it was just me but i believe them too-i guess? hehe) because um yknow my guy-sarjana-mates were there too! Oh my oh my im so nervous yela its been years (hyperball) i didnt meet them and besides, im more fa.. i mean now, my weight, increases um you know what i mean. um so..

We went to asiah's! Yeay. I met my sarjana-mates oh everything are so goooood. I mean, i missed them a lot like miss to be surround with my mates like old days oh god that day smells so good. I cant describe my feeling but yknow-- meeting old friends like brings you all the way back to those nice memory lane wohoo (why am i talking like an old granny). So we, girls were 21 and plus guys, 20 wohoo thats pretty ramai for raya open house! Hahaha we were shocked! We were! hahaha why on earth those guys came in a huge bunch?? We didnt expect that they'll whoa haha they were crayzayy i must admit that haha but what i can say is i prefer them wayy than my current boys-schoolmates (cause they're so ugh). So i guess i got nothing else to share. So.. thank you so much for wasting your time reading all my craps teheee im so touched (ahaks :3) So see ya again! Toodles!

Uh Oh..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri // from us :)
Have A Blast!


Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Re born

In The Name Of Allah,
The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.

Peace Be Upon You.

*take a deep breath*
Idk how to start this new post. I mean, this is the old blog, still, vespalajuu but-- you know i havent update this blog for years! As you can see the last post was on 2011 which is two years ago, yep, two years ago. Well, not because i dont want to but you know i have no time! (ceh, main game tgk running man boleh pulak) Idk how to start. How how how. Hehe act, ada ja nak share but idk how to start! I dont know lagi. Theres too much things i want to express, to share with my readers (well macam ada sangat) but what i always post on my blog is what i wanna express, my feelings, what i feel and maybe what i dream of. Not to impress so dont give high expectations on my writing or story. But insyaAllah, what im gonna post today and onwards are all truth and come from the bottom of my heart and yep i always like oftenly always hyperballs and im sorry if my grammar is upside down. Well, learn from mistakes, practise makes perfect (ceh padahal mmg malay poyo speaking omputeh hehe)

I really want to talk (you hear me talkin aite?) more but i really have to go. I have something to do. So.. stay tuned perhaps? Hehe it would be fun if my blog have some readers. But i dont really mind actually. So.. see ya again insyaAllah. I will update this baby (blog) more often  yeay say yeay now. 

Uh-oh btw, Happy Eidul-Fitr everyone and have a blast! and may us be blessed.