Pondered.

Friday, December 27^th 2013.

1810. 210, Malacca.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Its been a while, since my last post.

Hahaha, I always start my posts with ' its been a while'. Cause its true. I didnt have time to update my blog. Bukan tak nak, cuma masa diisi dengan benda lain. But sometimes, when I do have time, my mind goes boooomm.. blank. Even tho theres many things past by my breath. Ewah. So..

I 'met' a book. A novel to be exact. Which tickles my heart. My mind.

And makes me ponder...

13 Jam A380.

The title. By Evelyn Rose.

I like it. And actually, I love it.

Idk, some of my fellas said the novel is quite boring. But for me, not. Not really.

I like.. what she tries to remind. To share with. Its really.. tickling. Sentap.

The reminders in the novel, suites my feeling.. which searching for 'alarm'.

Theres a weird feeling in me.

This feeling is quite... idk.. like.. will be part of me...

Im going to share what's inside me..

Alhamdulillah, Im grateful.

Im grateful, Ive been in this world, born as a Muslim. So grateful. Really grateful.

Im able to see, to look at this world by the view of a muslim's eyes.

So beautiful.

To breath in this world with believing in One God. The One and Only God, The Most Gracious.

So glad.

Qada' and Qadr. - dh biasa dengar kan?

But by the time, the hard times hit us..

That time when we feel despair, miserable, upset and maybe loose hope..

The time when hard for us to be in.. Hard for us to accept..

Qada' and Qadr. - we may forget abt this. Nauzubillah.

But most of ppl always questioned Qada' and Qadr only in hard times..

Qada' and Qadr. Fate. Ketetapan dan ketentuan.

It isnt just abt the sadness and sorrowness and ect.

Allah bukannya tetapkan dan tentukan yang sedih, yang buruk je untuk kita. He arranges our life.

The happiness, His arrangement. The suceed. His arrangement.

He arranges everything. Everything.

Everything happens by His' wills.

Allah gives us choices. We did and do everything by choosing choices.

Do you guys agree with me... ?

I believe His' plans for me. The fate that He do for me. For my life. He loves me. And us. He knows best.

I believe. And I pray I'll. We'll. Always, forever.

I admit, at certain point, its hard.

And I onced questioned myself.. Aku nak buat benda baik ni, kenapa la Allah bg aku rasa malas, susah blablabla..?

To make us stronger.

To turn us to a better servant. By pondering. Dia suruh kita guna akal yang Dia bagi. To make us figure out ourself.

Ala, macam No Pain, No Gain. Macam Man Jadda Wa Jada. Semua atas usaha. Siapa yang nak dapat Hidayah, bukan boleh goyang kaki je. Kan? Seek for it.

Ya Allah, takutnya.

If I'll go to the wrong path. Nauzubillah. Guide me, Allah.

So, those are just my sharing. From what I get from the novel.

Believe in Him. Beriman kepada Allah. Bukan dari lisan je. Hati dan amal.

If Im wrong anywhere, tell me. Im still a searcher, anyway. Did and do wrongs.

Thank You Evelyn Rose. Thank You Allah, for sending her to wake me up.

I Love You.

N.

Ranting. As requested.

In the name of Allah,
The Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

Assalamualaikum. ..

Im goin to rant abt my feelings rite now. Act, not as requested. I choose to rant on my blog yg dh berhabuk ni as I.. am so sad. Tonite. Mixed feelings.

Sarjana, tak boleh nak delete Sarjana dari kepala ni. Tak boleh nak put aside even sekejap. Always, always, remember always wujudkan perasaan yang sayu dlm hati ni and membawa kekesalan. Aku rasa pun member member aku pun dh boring dgt ranting aku tak habis habis rindu Sarjana. Im sorry, but I cant help myself. Ive tried. sorry, I am trying but its hard. Well, Im not trying to delete Sarjana in my mind, but trying to except the presence.

Regret. Yep, I felt that way. or maybe I feel it now. But in the same time, Im starting to like Al-amin. Al-amin shows me many things. Yet, im still unhappy that Im no longer a Sarjanian. Or am I really unhappy? Im getting jealous when gen e buat anything tahun ni.. Im so... jealous. Cause I cant make memories with them. But I always keep this in my mind .. " I have this feeling, which others may not feel it in their life. I have this experience which others may not experience. Also, making memories with new people. "

Kalau akuhaving hard time dkt Al-amin and perlukan words to stand up and stand still aku mesti nak cari muka member yang always ada dgn aku waktu aku menangis dkt Sarjana dulu. Ila.. Asiah.. Anis.. Alya.. Atyn.. Fiza.. Farah.. Hanim.. Fiqanis.. Syaqis.. Farhanah.. Tiqaisa.. Even ada yang aku tak rapat, but they helped me in many ways. They heared my rants.. They listened what is inside my heart... I always hurt them.. always.. I know. Tambah lagi yang rapat dgn aku.. Member KAMI... haha lawak macamana boleh rapat. Even, aku ada kak Anis, kak Fadz, kak Fae yg support aku since aku form one... Kakak kakak kesayangan aku.. Dah setahun sehari aku tak dengar suara diorang, tengok muka diorang, salam diorang..  Serious, sebak type post ni.. Sebak. Sebak. Sebak. .. . . Hujan.....

Member aku dkt Sarjana pun used to be 'new people' sama mcm member Al-amin sekarang.. And what can I conclude is my actual problem is..

Missing Sarjana.

That's why memories are memories. To be keep. To be remembered. To make us smile in tears ( as for me ). Aku sangat bersyukur aku kenal gen e. Tak kira la lelaki ke perempuan, both, ada memories. Eventho ada yang annoying, I feel grateful, I am.

I also learned that.. Missing something, doesnt mean that we have to own that thing again. Aku cuba untuk sedapkan hati aku dgn ayat tu. Hurm..

Im sad. I miss sweet memories. Usha usha the one I admire. Now, no longer................. Tak tengok dah si dia pakai baju sekolah, baju bola, baju jumaat, outing, main bola, lari, makan dkt kantin dgn banyak Tu ni........ opss dah terlari..... Amboi. Ehem.

Pardon me.

Ape pun, Ill keep those memories tightly in my head, heart. Hold it tight. . . .. I miss them.
A lot.
Like seriously alot..

AKU LAH MANUSIA YANG TAK BERSYUKUR......
padan muka kau nina.

Mungkin ni post aku yang tak patut dibaca. Aku cuma nak menzahirkan perasaan ni.

Sedih.

Epilog.

Assalamualaikum.

Mulakan membaca entri ini dengan senyuman, please eventho youre going tough (ceh suruh org senang yu bukan in their shoes pun) ehe. Well, Alhamdulillah, im in a good mood. Oh and yes, its already 10th Syawal. Is it too late to wish Happy Eid-ul Fitr to my lovely readers (if i have one)? hehe Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri tulus dari diriku.

Actually, i dont really sure what topic should i share with you guys tonite as i have zillions of em. Hmm macamana ni? Em lets talk about.. hari raya lah? Is that fine?

So this year hari raya i celebrate with my parents, chah (my second sis), ayih (my last eld bro), abang (my eldest bro) and his wife + two sons and my cats, tot and comel wihihi. So this year raya is just same as past years', we just have raya at ipoh. So everything went well blablablaa eat rendang lemang blablabla so nothing's really exciting actually just when there's a difference this year which is...

So last Tuesday, i went to two diff openhouses of my fellas. Hehe, i guess its very rare to see me at any openhouses, bukan tak nak attend, tapi ada hal or what not. So, the first house was Mar's. Alya, Diyan, Aishah (my sarjana-mates), and Farah and Izany (my sarjana-mates too but we have thing in common which is we get ex infront of sarjana lalala) were there too! I am kaget! Who doesnt? They came all the way from sungai buloh! What a whoa i didnt expect them to be there! So we ate blablablabla and we went to next house. Mar's mummy sent us there. There were a bit dup dap deep in our chest (it was just me but i believe them too-i guess? hehe) because um yknow my guy-sarjana-mates were there too! Oh my oh my im so nervous yela its been years (hyperball) i didnt meet them and besides, im more fa.. i mean now, my weight, increases um you know what i mean. um so..

We went to asiah's! Yeay. I met my sarjana-mates oh everything are so goooood. I mean, i missed them a lot like miss to be surround with my mates like old days oh god that day smells so good. I cant describe my feeling but yknow-- meeting old friends like brings you all the way back to those nice memory lane wohoo (why am i talking like an old granny). So we, girls were 21 and plus guys, 20 wohoo thats pretty ramai for raya open house! Hahaha we were shocked! We were! hahaha why on earth those guys came in a huge bunch?? We didnt expect that they'll whoa haha they were crayzayy i must admit that haha but what i can say is i prefer them wayy than my current boys-schoolmates (cause they're so ugh). So i guess i got nothing else to share. So.. thank you so much for wasting your time reading all my craps teheee im so touched (ahaks :3) So see ya again! Toodles!

Uh Oh..

Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri // from us :)

Have A Blast!

                                                                                                                                     

Re born

In The Name Of Allah,

The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful.

Peace Be Upon You.

*take a deep breath*

Idk how to start this new post. I mean, this is the old blog, still, vespalajuu but-- you know i havent update this blog for years! As you can see the last post was on 2011 which is two years ago, yep, two years ago. Well, not because i dont want to but you know i have no time! (ceh, main game tgk running man boleh pulak) Idk how to start. How how how. Hehe act, ada ja nak share but idk how to start! I dont know lagi. Theres too much things i want to express, to share with my readers (well macam ada sangat) but what i always post on my blog is what i wanna express, my feelings, what i feel and maybe what i dream of. Not to impress so dont give high expectations on my writing or story. But insyaAllah, what im gonna post today and onwards are all truth and come from the bottom of my heart and yep i always like oftenly always hyperballs and im sorry if my grammar is upside down. Well, learn from mistakes, practise makes perfect (ceh padahal mmg malay poyo speaking omputeh hehe)

I really want to talk (you hear me talkin aite?) more but i really have to go. I have something to do. So.. stay tuned perhaps? Hehe it would be fun if my blog have some readers. But i dont really mind actually. So.. see ya again insyaAllah. I will update this baby (blog) more often  yeay say yeay now. 

Uh-oh btw, Happy Eidul-Fitr everyone and have a blast! and may us be blessed.

N.

gen E

Assalamualaikum.

*tarik nafas dalam dalam.

Hiiii. Eventho tgh tgk Nora Elena, but I still feel boring. Entah kenapa. Bila boring, layan je lah Facebook tu. Ila pun on chat IM. As I was sooo boring, I asked her for an Idea for me to post something here. And then she said "cite la pasal gen-e". And I was like, "ha'ah la kan"*cehh, dan dan.

Okay, Nina, what are talking abt? Gen E? What The Heck is that?! Okay, shut up and read! Ni nak kabo ni. Hehe.

Okay, saya ni sekolah dekat sekolah yang sebelah MRSM Pasir Salak tu. Yeee, sebelah sekolah excellent tu, sebelah je. Tak sampai 5km pon. Hehe, so nak tumpang glemer MRSM la ni? TAK PUN, Sekolah saya tu, lagi glemer laa ==' Kalau MRSM, Pasir Salak. SARJANA, EV, taw! *EV ; Elephant Village. kihkih. SARJANA ; Sek. Men Raja Dr. Nazrin Shah. FYI, sekolah ni, sekolah agama negeri. Ye, sekolah agama. Haha. Pakai tudung labuh. weweiittt. hehe. Ye, saya pakai tudung labuh, nak ckp apa? HAHA. *okay, abaikan, perempuan ni gile sikit. Sekolah saya, baru je 11 Tahun. Muda lagi kan? So, tahun lepas, lahirlah generasi baru*aiceh, ayat takbolehbelah. hekhekk. Generasi yang gilang gemilang*sekali lagi ayat takbolehbelah. Ye, Generasi Sebelas.

Okay, macamana boleh Generasi Sebelas ni boleh dapat nama Gen-E? kihkih, ni semua jasa Cik Nurul Adilah Zamzam.

Macamni, dulu fesbuk baru ada group. Tanpa disedari, pada suatu hari ada orang add saya masuk satu group ni. Nama group ni Gen E. Saya dengan tiba tibanya berasa sangat terkezuttt!

Sebab, waktu dekat sekolah, saya dengan kawan saya sembang sembang, kami*K, skema, tahu. tiba tiba terkeluar idea memendekkan Generasi/Generation kepada Gen dan disebabkan kami*K, skema lagi. generasi ke sebelas, dan sebelas dalam bahasa Inggeris Eleven, so ambik je E tu. Sangat simple. Tapi, kami tak warwar kan pon idea kami itu.

Saya pun tanyala Cik Adilah kite ni macamana idea dia yang comel momel ni boleh tercetus*aicehh. Dia pun jelaskan lah, bahawa dia bersama seorang kawan dia ni ambik dari perkataan ' Seven E '. HAHA. Macam apa je kan? But thats the fact.

So, berleluasalah 'Gen E', gen yang hebat ;D kehkehh. Ada bantahan? Ada? Tak kesah ;p

Dulu, saya tak pernah chat dkt group tu. Sebab saya takut, takut orang attack saya sebab saya bukan budak baik dekat sekolah tu. Ini benar. Tapi mula tahun ni, saya try. Lama-lama best jugak. HAHA, padahal budak sekolah sendiri je kan? Hoho. Ramai jugak yang takut nak chat dalam group chat ni dulu, sebab .. Kiteorg ni dijaga bawah Abang-abang and Kakak-kakak Generation/Batch 9. Hmm, macamana nak jelaskan ye? Kan, Ive told that my school is Islamic school, so, batas batas pergaulan sangat dijaga. FYI, kelas kami diasingkan jantinanya. Sangat ketat kan? But, you'll get it when youre one of SARJANAian, So, takut kena marah. But now, keadaan seems like normal. Semua okay okay je. Hmm, eventho dekat luar dress code saya macam lain, but, saya bangga jugak la sekolah sini. Bukan bangga sebab apa, sebab kawan kawan Gen-E saya. HIHI <3 So, untuk merapatkan relationship kiteorg ni, kiteorg puasa samasama, bukak puasa samasama, pakai baju kaler sama, macammacam lagi. And kitorg still banyak lagi kena baiki, BUT, kitorg mmg hebat. And we have to prove it by get the highest number of student that excellent in PMR, next year. Pray for us. HEHE. Okay, saya tak tahu nak story mory apa dah.

Ahha, bergelak tawa dengan diorang memang bermakna, tapi kami tak gelak banyak, sebab kami tahu hati mati bila gelak banyak. kih3.

Love,

Nina.